Baby baby baby

There's no doubt that the brand new little niece has been a huge blessing in our family. Aside from the fact that she is the most adorable thing I've laid eyes on, she provides so much positive for us to dwell on. Our little 7 lb slugger is pushing back a lot of the worries and fears. Not to mention being a grandma is my mom's newest favorite pastime. (Screw you, cancer.)

It's surprising to me how long I can hold her, or sit there and stare at her even when she's sleeping. I'm amazed by her. (I also take great pride in the fact that I'm usually able to get her to stop crying! Although, I have yet to change a diaper solo.) She makes me laugh hysterically. I don't know how long it takes for babies to develop to the point where they recognize faces or voices or anything. But I talk to her, and sometimes she looks at me.

She also smiles for me. Most awesome thing ever. (Okay, it's probably gas, but let uncle have this little thing.)

I can't wait till we laugh together...

It's away!

Blizzards be damn'd, the portfolio and application are away!

I should celebrate, haha.

HUB-BUB

As I mentioned before, I kicked my butt and dove back into painting. Some of my ventures have been pretty cool and some not so much. I've been staying up pretty late and dragging myself out of bed to go to work in the morning. On the one hand it's been invigorating while on the other I haven't had nights like these in a long time.

Fun. =)

So my renewed efforts are actually two-fold. I'm an artist. Making art makes me happy. It's something I need to do. You see the logical conclusion (and the inevitable question: Well then, what the "f" has been your problem?").

The second reason is a bit more specific. There is this amazing job opportunity for an Artist-in-Residence position that I want. I actually really want it. There, I said that too. I want this job.

While going through pieces to include in the portfolio to send, I was talking to good friend who encouraged me to do some more paintings. She was of the opinion to forget about the marketability of the work, and just do it: Make something.

And it's been fun. And now I have 2 (maybe 3?) new pieces that I can include in this portfolio that I'll be sending out this week. It's exciting, and almost feels like applying to art school all over again.

I'm thrilled at the thought of working in a gallery for 11 months. To work with the community in a creative aspect. To create and play with creative people. It's like a dream!

Now, I don't know what kind of talent I'm up against. There are scads of amazing artists out there. I've been trying to keep that in perspective. I want to take this wave to its highest crest and see how long I can ride it. If things don't work out with this one for me, I hope that it sets me on a new path.

To Woody et al

Woody and gang:

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. I'm still surprised at the outpouring of support from just a line or two in someone's blog. It means a lot to me (and my family too!).

I apologize for not stopping by your blogs individually and offering thanks. I've been blog procrastinating for a while, and since I've been throwing myself back into painting, I haven't been spending as much time on the computer.

Things are going well so far on this end. The oncologist remains positive that the new treatment will work. We just have to wait and see what the next round of tests shows.

Here's to thinking positive, and to some new "blog" friends.

Thanks all,
m.

Surprises... pleasant ones

During the past few days, I've received a couple comments from complete strangers expressing support and well wishes for my mom and my family's current situation. It's been really very awesome.

I obviously don't have many blog "followers," and at times I'm not really sure who's even checking it out. It just sort of made my day. Twice. So thank you, both.

And for a quick update: They changed the chemo. I'll have to find the name of the drug again. But this one's actually an oral medication, which is sort of cool. She still has to go to the hospital every other week for this other drug, Avastin, which is supposed to inhibit the growth of cancer cells. Side effects with this new chemo are supposed to be more mild, with dry skin and blistering the worst of it.

So there we are.

And here we go.

Happy New Year

The chemo stopped working.

Last cancer post of the year

My mom's scans and tests are next week. Friday I do believe. Results should be in by Tuesday when she goes in for chemo.

I will admit when I stop to think about it I feel sort of nauseous [so I'm not really stopping to think about it too much]. This should determine if the cancer is "gone," when she can stop chemo, etc.

The side-effects are getting worse. While the hair on top of her head has started growing back, her taste is shot to shit again. Since the chemo attacks fast-growing cells like hair, nail and tastebud cells, these things are usually effected the worst. That's why people lose their hair. And their appetites. And lose their finger nails.

She hasn't lost her nails yet, but it's not looking good...

So 2010, let's get this straight now. ENOUGH with the cancer already.

Prayers and crossed fingers would be appreciated.