Moth's Wings (cont.)... It's in my head!

I pretty much don't know anything about music. I can only sing to babies and dogs. (I was in chorus back in 4th grade.) I don't know what the hell all those symbols mean on a sheet of music. (I used to play the trumpet! And I foolishly let myself be talked into buying a guitar, and have been unable to tune it or decipher the poster with the chords?... notes?...) I can't tell you which band sings what song--if I could even name the band or better yet an actual song title.

But I like music! Haha. And I love listening to new stuff. The problem I run into is I can't tell if I like it at first or not. Rarely will a song hit me the first time I listen to it, although it happens. A coworker excitedly shared "Runaway" by Love and Theft, claiming it made her think of me. I was skeptical at first, but wow. Haha. I pretty much went home and downloaded the acoustic version (okay, I know that I have a huge, huge preference for an acoustic version of a song, pretty much across the board).

That was a rare case though. Usually, a new album or CD takes me a good 4 or 5 listens before the songs start to separate from each other. I'll suddenly notice that Track 5 has an intro I really like and Track 11 has a lyric that seems to literally stop the song and whisper into my ear. Then after a few more listens, I know I've really got a song. At first it's just a lyric or two that stands out (Whose side are you on?/What side is this anyway?). And then, maybe it gets so into my head that I listen to it too much and bam.

So now "Moth's Wings" by Passion Pit has fixed itself into my head. I usually try not to skip through songs when I'm driving. But when I hear:

"Dear friend, as you know..."

I get excited.

It's like a conversation. I think maybe that's why I like it. It's not someone belting out how much he loves someone, or misses someone, or how great things are, or how bad they are. Sure there's emotion to it, and strong ones at that (But the clouds are clearing up/and I've come rebelling/burning incandescently/like a bastard on the burning sea). But it's different.

I just keep coming back to this conversation idea. Things are "wrong" with the situation (You're pressing on your laurels/and stepping on my toes). There's "conflict" (You come beating like moth's wings/spastic and violently/whipping me into a storm/shaking me down to the core). Then there's the question--my "first" lyric!! (Whose side are you on?/What side is this anyway?).

And then another part that I love about this song. There's a resolution offered (Put down your sword and crown/Come lay with me on the ground).

It's a song to make amends. A song to mend fences or build bridges. A song to renew relationships, or ya know what? Even end them. But on good terms I think. It's like a book that has one of those endings where the reader decides what happens. You don't know if the friend accepts the offer or not. Even if you've decided on the relationship--friends, lovers, siblings, whatever--it's just out there. That possibility, that offer. After the singer and friend are on the same level, after laying down on the ground, what happens? Friends again? Kiss and make up? Business as usual and pretend the conversation never happened? Turn around and walk away?


Hm. I spent way too much time writing this post. I take solace in the fact that you didn't have to sit there and read it. ;)

"Tests at the end of April"

That came sort of fast...

Monday: CT and PET scans
Wednesday: MRIs
Friday: Bone scan

Relay For Life

With two months left until our event, things are starting to get interesting. We're leaps and bounds above where we were at this point last year. Granted, our event was a month earlier last year. But that's still a good sign, right?

22 teams, 127 participants signed up so far (and almost one new registrant every day!). About a hundred dollars shy of raising $28,000.00 so far!

Our RedHat Angels team is completely dominating the fundraising--over $12,000.00 and they still have big fundraisers planned! It's amazing. They are unstoppable! Haha, at least I know I can't catch them. I'm keeping my team's $10,000.00 goal in sight, and we've got about 2 months to raise the last $2,000.00 or so.

Even more important than that, I want our event to be successful--I want us to hit our goals. Last year we were one of the only Relays in the region to come close to making goal. ($53,000 raised out of a $55,000 goal... so close!!) Somehow we were a success story. It was pretty cool.

This year, the ACS set our goal at $57,000. Not too much more than last year. But that's such a big number. And it's difficult to get people involved, or even to get those who are already involved to raise money. I want us to make goal this year. (Besides, the theme is superheroes... It's like a Relay geek's dream!)

I've been thinking a lot about this Relay For Life event. I'm so happy to have been a part of it for so long. Of course, I never feel like I do a good enough job running it. And that's not even taking into account the weather that I can't control. But either way, for 5 years this has been a big part of what I do with my time. And I've been in charge for 3 of those years. It might be time to step aside.

I'm not talking about walking away, per se. But I think it's time for someone else to take the reins. New blood, new ideas, new leadership. A volunteer event like this shouldn't be run by the same person or people for years at a time. Someone needs to step up!

Having a team and participating in the event are still important to me. I actually wonder what it would be like to attend the Relay and not have to run around making sure everything is progressing smoothly. To actually attend a Relay with my family and friends... Walk the track... Sit down when I want to! Haha. How different that would be?

It's been a great experience. And I'm not necessarily sold on "retirement." But it might be time. And perhaps a new opportunity will present itself.

Plus, it would be sort of fun to go out on top, giving this city the best Relay it's ever seen. I might even allow that sense of accomplishment sneak up on me.

Here's to a $57,000.00 quest!