GPSing my way out of a paper bag. And irony!

It's not really a big secret that I'm hopeless when it comes to directions. It took me long enough, but I finally bought a GPS yesterday. One would think now I'd be all excited to hit the road without a care in the world!

That one is probably wrong. ;)

Of course, when I "get the itch to fly" and I, well, fly, it could come in handy.

Here's the irony! (Or maybe just humor?) I ordered a GPS from Amazon. I must have looked at 10 or 15 different brands and models. I settled on a Garmin Nuvi 265 over the Garmin Nuvi 765 And guess what there deal of the day at Amazon is today! A Garmin Nuvi 765!! Hahaha.

Refreshing to see I still got it.

Pre-wrap

This is what he looked like before he took that fatal step. As you can tell, he was pretty scared from the beginning.

Of course, he did have a knife sticking out the top of his head...

Pumpkin

I sort of always liked Halloween. Some years it's more fun than others, and some years I get more involved than others. But I think it's the combination of the season mixed with the potential for good times with friends, and the ever-important creative element intertwined.

['Course, I won't get into how I don't have a costume for the party I'm supposed to go to on Saturday, but that's okay. How 'bout a Bayside Tigers t? Haha. Yeeeeah.]

Pumpkin carving has become a fun little Halloween activity for me. Especially after looking through Extreme Pumpkins and its successor. Last year I made a "Carrie Pumpkin", complete with tiara, tears and blood flow. This year, a couple more people jumped in on the action and we adapted the "Drowning in a Bag Pumpkin" to "Suffocated Pumpkin." My excitement bubbled over [even though most of the people I texted didn't seem to share my enthusiasm.]

But here he is:


Of course, not to be outdone by:

Clone Trooper Pumpkin!

Your next booklist

If you are looking for some light bed-time reading, may I suggest you consult this list:

10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

I actually feel like I need to hunt these books down! I've read the titles in #2 by Edward Gorey and Hilaire Belloc and I actually loved them. (That's not to say I think childrens books about a Hiroshima or abusive parents would be awesome. But an alphabet book of death? How can you not find humor in that. (Plus, that was one of my first ever illustration assignments... Good times.)

Besidese, if you ask me, Jim deserved it for being a brat and running away. And Matilda!! Hahahaha. You should totally check her out.

Shipping labels

It's a sad, sad day when receiving an order of shipping labels makes you excited.

It's even sadder when said labels print out so perfectly that it actually makes you laugh!

But then it's funny.

So it's okay.

Artoo? Where are you?

In honor of the brand-spanking new phone I picked out in less than 5 minutes thanks to the wonderfully funny and sarcastic Verizon lady, I have changed my blog to a black background.

'Cause that's what my phone has.

Pretty sick. I'm enjoying it thoroughly. Now all I need to do is figure out this music thing... For, you see, I've considered actually utilizing all the functions my phone was meant to have, including for once, sound! At least, sound when I'm hangin around home.

Guess who beeps and boops when I get a text! Haha. Not to mention a Guster ringtone!

Hahah I love it.

Itchy. Tasty.

Do you enjoy zombie lore?

If so, then you should check out these Zombie Contingency Plans.

Fascinating indeed. I suppose Resident Evil strategies might not be the best way to go after all. And if you figure there'd be those puzzles to figure out and all those keys you'd have to find, then it hardly seems worth it. I can't even do simple math, let alone mix herbs!

:)

Charlie

Did you ever watch Charlie the Unicorn?

My friends showed it to me a couple years ago and I was terrified in a bad way. But now it makes me laugh. Hahah "Shuuuuuun."

And we all know laughter is good, right?

Gallery reception

Today was the reception of the gallery I judged. It was a nice little event. Nothing too big or flashy. I did cause quite the stir with my selections. Some of those little ol' people are so cute when they're flustered.

"This one is BEAUTIFUL. This should have won. Who would even PICK that one?"

(Apparently I would, my good crone!)

"Francis, come here. This is the one I want. Why didn't this one win?"

(Because it's bathroom art. You can buy it and look at while you poop.)

I wanted to sort of mess around with them and have some fun. But that wouldn't have been very nice. Especially since I already rocked the foundation of what was considered to be beautiful. They were already convinced the judge was on crack! I love it. Haha.

Now I get to decide if I want to be part of this Artist Association. Of course, that might just be inviting more old-school, rigid-minded approaches from the 65+ crowd. I'd be the only one not old enough to collect social security! Though it might be fun to have my young-hooligan-ness dripping on their set ways. Good times.

Money money money

Just placed an order for 100 t-shirts as part of a Relay For Life fundraiser. Kick in the teeth is, guess who has to put out the money for said shirts? :)

$595!!! Hahaha wow. I knew it was coming, and it's something that was thought about and deliberated and all that. There shouldn't be a problem selling them all and making the money back. But it still sucks to have to front that sort of money.

I'm usually pretty thrifty with my money, so it always amazes me how easy it is to whip out that credit card...

Still want that damn TV too. What's another $500? (Shiza!)

Workin' world

You should check this out.

Maybe even add to it! It's great therapy.

Puppy love

"Dogs play more like children play, totally in the moment, barely able to contain their happiness. 'A ball?! You have a ball?! Oh oh oh, that's wonderful, miraculous, exquisite! Will you throw it? Oh please please, please throw it! Oh boy! You threw it! I get to run after it, pick it up, and bring it back!'"

-Patricia McDonnell
For the Love of a Dog

Judge, jury and ribbon bestower

I judged that show today! It was sorta fun even though it took a lot longer than I thought it would. Part of the problem was there was no clear distinction with what the categories were going to be. I guess in the end it doesn't matter too much since no one gets anything but the recognition.

I had my favorite piece actually picked out in the first 5 minutes. It was a mixed media project, which sort of surprised me because it's not usually my thing. But this piece was amazing. The artist used dried flowers in conjunction with watercolor to set up this scene. So cool. The whole thing was monochromatic, and even though the theme dwelt more with gardens gardens, the browns just stood out to me. Haha, possibly because there was color belching all around it. I don't know. It reminded me of an old-school storybook. Or a sepia toned photograph or illustration brought to life. Really impressive stuff. I'll have to see if I can take a pic of it, though not sure if you're allowed to do that in a gallery...

I wound up selecting 1st, 2nd and 3rd place for Oil/Acrylic, Watercolor/Pastel, and Mixed Media. Also chose an honorable mention in the first 2 categories. I was told one of the people I bumped down to honorable mention for a pastel always won awards. I had actually kept him off my list the first few times around because his piece was what some like to call "bathroom art." It was very good, don't get me wrong. But it didn't have the same life as some of the other pieces.

The president of the association walked in when I was finishing up and started talking to the woman who was recording my selections. I had walked to the other side of the gallery when I saw her point to a piece I chose. His response was a rather loud, "Reeeally?" Hahaha it was funny until I thought, "Shit, here we go," but then I decided, "So what? I'm the judge, am I not?"

The reception is next Saturday. Think I'll probably head over and check it out. And see what kind of waves were stirred up by my ribbons.

It is all fun and games till someone gets herpes!

I found this segment from Stephen Colbert to be hilariously funny.

"Who's f@#$ing our ping pong balls?"

"That's why good paperboys use plastic bags."

"I've got bacteria on my ball!"

Now if only I could share this breaking news story with all the high school kids on Facebook who belong to that beer pong group! If only...

See, video games are good for you.

I think I want to work for The Onion.

(Greg, this is in our defense to the eye rollings we received the other night at dinner. You know who you are, eye-roller lady.)

"You wanna pick me up?"

There's this lady on her cell phone, looking through clothes on a rack in the store. There's assorted merchandise strewn over her cart in a comical fashion. She looks like she tried to put herself together pretty nice to go out shopping. She is also speaking stereotypically loud.

"They're coming for dinner?"
"Are they coming for dinner?"
"I was thinking dinner at like 2 or 3 and you're saying 6 or 7"
"Where were the keys?"
"Did you find the keys?"
"What did you do with the keys?"
"You have the keys?"

Hahahaha. I immediately thought of this and only wished that life was as magical as an animated sitcom.