"Why do people have to die?"

The other night Katie told me that one of the guys we went to school with passed away. From leukemia. It gave me pause then, it gave me greater pause last night when I looked up the obituary, and it made me sad as hell tonight when I found the blog that his fiancee kept during the end of his life.

I didn't read all of the posts. I don't think I can bring myself to do that right now. I don't think we were ever friends and it's beyond me if we ever actually talked to each other in class. But it still hits close to home.

The post his fiancee wrote on the day he died made me more emotional than I'd like to admit. I cannot imagine the turmoil that must have been for her, watching him die. Nor can I fathom what that must have been like for him, (hopefully) knowing his loved ones were there and that the love of his life watched him fade away.

Death is a curious thing. In the end it doesn't matter if he was just "this kid in my class" or my best friend. What matters that cancer robbed him of his love and his life and his future.

I've been so heavily involved in Relay for the past few years. While I've had friends and coworkers die from cancer, it wasn't until last year with my mom's illness that I really saw what this fight meant. Now, with his death I'm reminded again. This is why I take on this fight. This is why I get myself so involved. Relay is my way of fighting back and shouting to whoever or whatever is listening, that: "NO. We won't just accept this. I won't just accept this."

There's this episode of Six Feet Under where this woman is completely devastated by the loss of her aunt. When Nate is finally able to calm her down, she asks the question that I'm sure everyone who's lost someone asks: "Why do people have to die?" And Nate responds, "To make life important."

There's truth in that. Thank you for reminding me.