While shopping today, I had the pleasure of coming across Eric and his beautiful friend girl. Whether this was a wife, girlfriend, sister or any other female companion, I do not know. What I do know is said girl is a beast of a woman!
It started in the shoe department. Said beast (let's call her... Portly Girl of the Flushed Face, or Psycho Chick) was huffily trying on a selection of gaudy footwear. I took little notice as I continued to browse until I heard, "Why do you always do that?!"
Now granted, I was only an aisle or two away, so I didn't immediately notice the volume. I kept on moving away in my endless quest to find a pair of shoes when I then hear, "You can't just keep your comments to yourself! You always do that!" This causes a bout of chuckling I conceal by pretending to be enthralled by the bottle opener not-so-concealed in the strap of a pair of sandals.
Then I start to notice how many people are actually in this section of the store. Husbands and wives, older people, mothers with children, etc. Yet, Psycho Chick doesn't seem to be phased by her audience.
"I HATE it when you do that! No one appreciates your attitude!"
I see Eric hustle away with the shopping cart. I hadn't heard him open his mouth once and figured it was probably best for him to get the hell out of there. But it wasn't over. From across the store now we all hear, "YES OR NO!?! IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION!!!"
At this point I'm visibly laughing. Honestly, even if Eric is a total jerk, do you need to scream and shout across an entire store? Some of the startled customers are now looking at me laugh at Eric and Psycho Chick. None of them seemed to find it as funny as I did and a couple seemed to think my laughing was worse than her public display of anger.
I wonder if that makes me a bad person. But I'm pretty sure I'll get over it.
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